💌 Dear Reader

Love Letters, Literary Scandals & Questionable Decisions

Welcome to The Preppy Peacock Bookish Boutique's weekly letters, bookish gossip, and questionable fictional decisions.

💋 Dear Preppy P

Literary advice. Questionable qualifications. Impeccable taste.

Issue No. 001: A Proposal and a Personal Insult

Dear Preppy P,

There is this man. He's rich. Owns-an-entire-estate rich. Unfortunately, he has the social skills of a wet napkin. He insulted me, stared at me for weeks, then proposed while explaining exactly why my family is beneath him. Now he's acting decent and I'm concerned I might like him. Do I give him another chance?

Signed, Proud, Prejudiced & Potentially Down Bad

Preppy P Responds

Girl. Not this man delivering a marriage proposal AND a Yelp review of your bloodline in the same conversation. "I love you despite your embarrassing relatives" is not romance. That is a complaint wearing a waistcoat.

Owning half of England does not entitle him to act like the other half is a personal inconvenience. If he's genuinely correcting his behavior and treating you with respect, he might deserve a second interview. Not a proposal. An INTERVIEW. References required. Emotional availability preferred. Annual income already verified.

And darling, be certain you're falling in love with the man and not the HOUSE. I understand the landscaping is excellent.

Stay pretty. Stay petty. Stay well-read. 💋
Love, Preppy P

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🎀 Guess the Literary Scandal

Our mystery writer's suitor is wealthy, terrible at flirting, and physically incapable of behaving normally at a party. Who is he?

1. Mr. Darcy
2. Heathcliff
3. Mr. Rochester
4. Jay Gatsby

Reveal the character & book

Elizabeth Bennet, writing about Mr. Darcy, from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. This letter is an original humorous reimagining, not a passage from the novel.

💌 More Letters Are Coming

Check back for our next Dear Preppy P scandal, book recommendations, reader confessions, and pretty little boutique temptations.